poetry makes me less crazy

This was originally posted in the Frederick News Post online edition and I'm really ridiculously proud of it, so I'm posting it here.

And now, some haikus from my current job search.

gently used admin
in search of loving workplace
with free diet coke

cover letters smell
like desperation, needy
online dating blurbs

no waking at 5
if starbucks is not open
then neither am I

who gives spelling tests
before the job interview
not my future boss

resume talks of
quest for entry level not
days off for beach trips

facebook you tube and
go fug yourself dot com are
more fun than job ads

If sweatpants are banned
on days that end in "y" then
our ideals conflict

blackberries make you
look so cool and important
and rude at parties

would like salaried
and dental for funniness
is this fantasy

without some free food
receptionist gets restless
will take bad message

grown up problems like
jobs, big choices, life changes,
can be solved with cake

writing poetry
better than looking at weather
or plotting revenge

I want to live the
life of a bohemian
or maybe pirate