two is really enough

For the past almost-three-weeks my boss has been away. This isn't new, she is quite the world traveler and has left me home alone before, although during past adventures in baby-sitting there has always been another adult around, maybe not in the office every day, but just a phone call and a short drive away.

This time however, I've been flying solo. People are checking emails and talking on skype fairly frequently so I don't feel abandoned, but there is still has been about 98% of alone time.

This means I should be getting TONS of work done, which is of course not true, because its hard to find motivation when you're flying solo and facebook will not leave you alone (grr...facebook).

But I am making progress all by myself...I am a good worker.

The point of this blog is not whether or not I am good employee - its what happens once I get home from work.

Rachel - "...and then I had a sandwich."

Boyfriend - laughter

Rachel - "What? What is so funny?"

Boyfriend - you just spoke for about 30 minutes straight and I just realized why. You haven't talked to anyone all day.

Once he brought up I started to realize it was totally true, I've been lucky enough to get food and drinks with people most nights the past few weeks and thinking back - I have not been able to shut up. Even more than normal. And I have even heard myself talking, and tried to make myself stop talking and start listening, and it still keeps coming out.

Its not really word vomit, per se - but its all the little anecdotes that I share with my boss every day. Its the this happened to me last night, this morning, five minutes ago. Without her, they get all stored up and then come out really fast all at once - kind of like, well - word vomit.

dammit.

And this is why I am now confident in the fact that there is no way I could possibly live alone. I could, but I would probably explode. I need to talk to people. I am not sure if this is something I should feel bad about - or if its just something I should accept about myself.

And I mean, lets be real - I am also a listener, and happy to be... but once I've had a day, I need to analyze and discuss it to make sure that I'm okay with it.

And so now - my boss will be back soon, but of course it took nearly three weeks to realize what was happening, so the past two nights I've been able to warn people,

"I haven't had an actual conversation today - so I'm going to talk a lot about nothing at all."

According to most of my friends - this is nothing new.