jonesing.

Today I traveled by plane, train, subway, and car to my Mom's house in Maryland. I am so very, very happy to be here. There is a certain something about coming home for Christmas that fills me with such warmth and happiness. Nearly all of my most favorite Christmas memories are wrapped up in this house and with people from this town.

But.

Now that I am all growed up I am starting my own Christmas traditions, and I am becoming a part of other peoples' celebrations and it is quite lovely to have my own things that I share with my chosen family rather than my given family.

However.

I have a problem. Boyfriend and I decided last night before I left on my transportation journey that we would each open one present from each other. Just one. Chosen by the giver rather than the recipient. This was actually my idea and for the very practical reason that I had bought Boyfriend Charlie Brown Christmas on DVD and really wanted a chance to watch it before Christmas. So we opened our presents and watched Charlie Brown Christmas and then went to bed and merry early Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Except.

ALL DAY today - I have been craving the opportunity to open a Christmas present. While, at this point in my life, I much prefer to give than to receive presents, there is something about opening a box wrapped in shiny paper and discover a surprise, all for Me! that gets me so excited and deliriously happy. Even if I don't like the present, the act of opening it is enough to satisfy me. Normally on days that I open presents (Christmas is pretty much it, having decided that birthdays are far better suited for adventures) I get to open a whole bunch and get it all out of my system for the year. Hardly ever do I just open a single Christmas present, especially when I am fully aware that there are more out there for me.

Seriously, I feel like a addict. All day I have wanted a hit, a present hit. I have gotten to hang out with two of my favorite people, and even buy myself a little something to see if it would take the edge off and it did not work. There was still this little piece of me that wanted nothing more than to rip paper off of a box. Even if it was empty box. I just wanted that moment of euphoria.

And I am at least two days out from getting anything. It is going to be a long two days full of amazing times with gorgeous people that I love. And it could be worse, I could be sitting in my apartment in Chicago with an adorable Christmas trees and all these wrapped presents calling my name (sorry Boyfriend).